Clothing Technology students are required to take watered-down business management classes so we don’t die when we’re released into the jungle that is the fashion industry. Like any self-respecting business class, we study cases. The first case study was about corporate social responsibilty, which should be relatively easy because the whole concept operates on universal ethics and adherence to the common good, right? RIGHT?

I will cut to the chase now. One of my classmates, who was a reporter for that case on that day, actually thought that aloe vera was a cactus. And that’s not even the sad part! The sad part is that he brought this up–he actually thought that this ridiculously inane bit of input that came from god only knows what region of his precambrian ass was relevant–because we were talking about environmentalism in the case of Colgate-Palmolive and that,
“Ah Palmolive, gumagamit ako nun. ‘Di ba minsan may mga picture picture sila ng cactus sa sachet. Eh di may ecological chorva naman sila nun ‘di ba?”

Dear god, I have been having an exhausting month. Between the week-long run-around Japan, my brother’s wedding, and the opening of the Simpsons movie next week, this moment of truth alone merits the labor of peeling my ass from the couch, flopping in front of the monitor and spewing a motherload of word vomit more substantial than:

“I have a sister-in-law! I love her long time!”
or,
“Japan is fantastic! Wahooey!”

It’s things like this that teach you that there is so much more to life than regularly going to class in what is considered by some institionally biased assmunches as the most prestigious university in the country, because somehow no matter what training some of us get, some of us still have the intellectual capacity of Heart Evangelista on downers, and can actually get to junior year thinking that drawing a fucking plant on your fucking packaging makes you a fucking environmentalist.

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