Derive and Authenticity

Directly translated, the word means to “drift”. In situationist texts, the theory of ‘derive’ comes from the notion that authenticity springs not from touring, but from wandering; void of expectations and formulas, one can actually have a more “real” experience of a place, an object, or an event (De Bord 1958). Of course, this is given the conceited assumption that we know what is and isn’t real.

Although I do agree with the abandonment of formula. There are somethings that you just need to go through in order to come to a more concrete definition of what they are.

“You know it’s never gonna happen right? That it’s never going to work out between the two of you?”

Of course I know that. But I guess it’s this much easier to have something to feel hopeful about then to just drift. There are some days that go by where he doesn’t cross my mind at all, and I can’t say whether these are good or bad days. What I don’t like is that I usually can’t remember what happens on these days (which is more or less how recent events have been). They just form a random series of “blah,” and that’s not how I want to characterize what I’ve been going through.

I mean, if I had to distract myself, at least let it be with something that matters. Excitement and drama are great, but I don’t have to equate them with agony. Hoping is nice, as long as you can just as easily accept that the world is not going to collapse if things don’t turn out the way you want them to.

We’ll see. That’s all.

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