…Because there are times when I’m looking, and something idiotic comes up, I don’t know, the way the sun looks on your hair or the pleasantness of white noise or “THIS ICE CREAM IS JUST REALLY GOOD, OKAY?!”.
So I step back and pick at my friends’ brains, and this came out of Paul Doble’s. And this is why I love his brain and why he will always be one of my best friends.
Do you know the kind of woman you want to be with? Really be particular. Go on. Make a list. Exercise your creativity. Edit. Be honest with yourself. Now filter those thoughts through reality. Meaning, does a woman like that exist? Go back to the drawing board if she doesn’t, if she’s too perfect.
Now take a look at the idea of a woman you’ve come up with and ask yourself: Are you worthy of a woman like that? What reason has she to stay with a man like you? What can you offer this woman? Be cruel in your introspection.
It’s all well and good to say love doesn’t need reasons or that love is blind or whatever. But you will never hear someone in love claim, “I love for absolutely no apparent reason.” It’s always, “He makes me laugh,” or, “She has a kind heart,” or even, “Strong men are a turn on.”
So, are you? Are you witty? Dependable? Sensitive? Trustworthy? Are you smart? Can you defend her honor when a drunk at the bar harasses her? What is there about you to love? You see, it’s about what you deserve. And “deserve” can go both ways, positive and negative.
Do you measure up? If yes, then that’s great. Get out there and find her. If not, make yourself worthy. Learn to dance or sing or how to speak another language. Get fit. Read more books. Work on your self-esteem issues. Don’t be such an asshole. Whatever it takes, make the attempt.
Because, otherwise, you’re just banking on luck
This brings me back to the times I had to break out the power tools; and after finishing the job, I’d think “Shit son, you need a man just like you.” Then I’d sit on the couch for a few hours assaulting my eyeballs with TMZ or Tyra, because that’s how we roll in Vice City.
But if I really had to weigh my feelings on the matter, taking into context this past year and the year before it and why it doesn’t work out–as well as why it’s good when it is–these are the points I came up with.
- He’s smarter and more articulate than me.
- He makes me laugh.
- He dresses well.
- He knows how to work a hammer and change a tire.
- And he will not treat my dietary restrictions like a burden.