Indecision

In the work-buy-consume-die line that we have socially contracted our selves into, it should be common sense that if the work and die components are completely non-negotiable, we’d might as well make the best of everything in between. It’s great if you have a fun job, and props to you. Milk that shit for what it’s worth. I have a fun job. But it shouldn’t be all there is. It doesn’t have to be a career in order to provide a sense of accomplishment.

Losing is often accompanied by the reality that I’m going to spend that money, time, or energy all the same. And that’s why making a decision does not have to result in as much agony as we have painted it to. Come to think of it, making a decision only requires you to yield. It’s actually the easiest thing a human being with a working brain and a clear enough grasp of causality should be able to do. Just make a decision: you can be a child molester (note that I said “can” and not “should” so please don’t quote me on this).

The best thing about making a decision is that you are allowed to change your mind, especially in cases where next to no one, besides yourself, is involved; especially in cases where there is time. There isn’t always time, so change whatever you can, while you can.

Yes, I have been called selfish. I also know that I live in a society where indecisiveness is one of the biggest character flaws an adult of professional status could display.

But it’s not about something being a flaw or a problem, it’s usually the way you see it.

I’ve come to the decision that I will probably spend the rest of my life looking indecisive and selfish. And that’s okay. That’s just another thing I’ve chosen to stand by. Rather than making a career out of devotion and surgical focus, I’ve decided to just be. There is no shortage of babies and careers and estates and married couples in this world. That’s another boat that doesn’t need me in it.

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Author: alicesarmiento

San Juan, Metro Manila

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