F/M/K my Life

Artist Eero Saarinen’s endearing list of his wife’s good qualities, circa 1954, from Explore.

There is a difference between liking someone as a teenager and liking someone in your twenties; one that goes beyond age. The thrill of discovery (like kissing under a bridge…) is different once you’ve been dragged through the mud of life, even just a little. Falling in love is different after you’ve carted away the remains of your first long-term relationship. It’s not a matter of authenticity, especially if authenticity is a matter of belonging to a moment. It’s just something else that guarantees our faith and adds value. Maybe it’s the whole idea of something still being able to surprise you. Maybe it’s the pleasant reminder that you are, after all, in your twenties and still young.

And yet, this is the age that we love with one foot out the door and collect bad dates and half-assed relationships like we collect shoes. But I’ve already acknowledged how ridiculous this whole habit of collecting shoes is.

I never know how to react when people I respect tell me they collect women (or men, I have seen it). Or that they compartmentalize between the girl they talk to and the girl they fuck and the girl they marry (and where does this leave the girl they kill?). It’s a cross between wanting to eat my own spleen and wanting so, so badly to understand what’s the driver. And still, got nothing. Can you say you were expecting something when you don’t know what to expect?

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Bandwidth Bandit

This is the profile I wrote of visual artist, production designer, and gallerina, Lena Cobangbang for Status magazine. Go see her show The Weather Bureau: Experiments in Degree Zero at the Blanc Gallery, 2/f Crown Tower, H.V. Dela Costa St. corner Valero, in Salcedo Village. She did awesome work alongside Mike Crisostomo using FOOD.

Twenty-six for 26

Important Things

  1. A passport
  2. A driver’s license
  3. Being able to admit you made a mistake, then moving on with your life.
  4. Understanding that not everyone is a child molester. Oprah could be wrong.
  5. Buying stuff is overrated
  6. Beg, borrow, or steal. Actually, don’t steal. But beg and borrow, and you could make a new friend or two. If it doesn’t work out, at least you have their copy of Summer Blonde
  7. Someone once told me that you start to deteriorate (physically and emotionally) and your whole life starts to catch up with you at 27. I’m not sure what that means, but maybe I’ll know at 27. Maybe she was wrong. There’s always that possibility.
  8. There is always that possibility! Also, average life expectancy has been raised to 85 in developed countries. The Philippines is no developed country, but there are tons of rich fucks out there who make like it is. Maybe it’s not so bad if it allows you to enjoy a few more years on earth.
  9. On this morning in 2009, I received a text that an acquaintance had been shot in his own home. There is always that possibility. After you realize this, 85 is just a number.
  10. Constantly worrying about money will make you feel poor.
  11. Buying stocks adds up to more paper. I don’t know…people are entitled to their own happiness, but really? Stocks?
  12. That said, I shouldn’t judge people for what makes them happy as long as they’re completely honest with themselves. But even this takes time to figure out–the whole honesty part, I mean!
  13. You can’t get arrested for dancing in public.
  14. Middle eastern dudes like dancing in public, and this could lead to a potentially awkward situation.
  15. Writing things down is actually more fun than taking pictures. …except for people who don’t write.
  16. There are people who will never ever make anything. There are people with absolutely zero drive to do anything creative with or in their lives. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It is however infinitely disappointing.
  17. You are entitled to your vapid moments.
  18. Get lots of sleep!
  19. Also, drink lots of water.  It turns your insides to pure mother of pearl.
  20. It’s usually a toss-up between being right and being kind. Now that you’re a teacher, you will find yourself leaning more towards being right, but even that fluctuates.
  21. Don’t ever take credit for someone else’s work. Ever!
  22. You need to go back to Tokyo!
  23. You need to go back to Chicago!
  24. You need to see Portugal, just because!
  25. You do not need another pair of shoes!
  26. A job that you can feel enthusiastic about doing.