What the hell Happened?

Posted 04/18/2004
ecila…walks through cubao, mrt rides, out of this world conversations,
fete dela musique, amelie, dancer, funky fashion, cute, shangrila,
intelligent, affectionate, true, pondering child, wandering child,
a burst of energy that cannot be kept still, blue/green hair that hardly grew,
mysteriously warm eyes…
miss you alice:D

so that’s what happens when people disappear off the face of friendster: they lose their names and their faces but leave remnants online before they retreat into the dust and falling debris of the real world. i like this testimonial, not because it feeds my fastidious ego, but because almost none of it holds true anymore. (i also like the fact that it was posted a couple of days before mikey came into my life.)

sure there are still walks through cubao, but it’s hardly even the same cubao anymore. and unless mikey’s bullshitting me, there won’t even be a fete de la musique this june. my dvd of amelie has long disappeared and i haven’t stepped in a dance studio in more than a year.
but what makes me sad about this is that i’ve been standing still and weighed down–by what? it’s too cliche if i say “life” or “reality”– since this was written. it makes me sad to cross out “burst of energy that cannot be kept still.”
as much as i miss those times when this testimonial was last true, i know those times aren’t coming back, even if i dye my hair blue and start taking ballet again. we’ve all slowly evolved into different people and very little about my life today reminds me of high school. but if it weren’t for things like this, high school would have had a much shorter shelf life.
i guess i can be happy that my hair is back to its natural color and has a grown a bit, only for me to chop it all off again.